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Taishi
Level 64
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 8/6/2017
Threads: 30
Posts: 501
Posted: 12/9/2019 at 8:14 PM
Post #1
ISSUE IS RESOLVED, ADVICE IS STIL HELPFUL FOR FUTURE AND OTHER READERS
It'S HAppeNeD aGAiN mY dUDes
Sorry ya'll, I just need to get this out there because ugggggggghhhhhhhh...feel free to just exit this post
Hehe, if this goes against guidelines, please just delete/lock it. I haven't been round here in a good while.
I'm going to give ya'll some background information.
So hi, I'm Taishi (not based on anyone just liked the word+meaning)
I'm a band student in high school. I, of course, play trumpet. I promise I don't have a huge ego, contrary to the stereotypes. I transferred to this high school late-ish (such as, set up classes 5 days before school started) so I wasn't able to attend band camp. The band was nice enough to find me a place in the pit playing aux percussion. Fast forward approximately three months.Crap, concert band time! I kinda suck on trumpet, so I'm placed in the third trumpet range. Hard for me to take at first but settled in.
Also important: I am not a extremely friendly person. So usually if you talk to me irl, its going to take a while to gain my trust. I make a lot of friends who are of the male gender as they USUALLY have less drama then females-high school girls are crazy mean sometimes. So I make friends with primarily guys. Unfortunately, for me at least), they usually end up liking me. (I know, everyone is like, why is this a bad thing? I don't really want to date anyone and would rather keep them as friends) I am oblivious to when a guy likes me. LIKE REALLY OBLIVIOUS. I don't realize until someone tells me or something happens. I've had a lot of friendships end this way and I hate it. It's just incredibly awkward for us both usually and we fall off.
STORY TIME:
The third trumpets consist of four people-let's call them A, B, and C-and of course me. So, a nice low part area. Welp, these guys are ALL just crazy. INSANE. It took a heck of a long time to get used to them. Don't get me started on the group chat. Now, two of us are female (A and me) and two are male (B and C). (Out of 11 trumpets overall, three are girls) Guy C is decent, he's the most crazy and likes the other girl in our section (not A but the one other girl, who's a first, she's incredibly nice) He's in a lot of my classes and I get along well with him. Guy B is also a pretty nice guy, and is crazy active. Now, out of these people I'm closest to C, but I know the other two pretty well. Don't talk to them a lot though. Everyone is a good person and I love developing relationships with each of them.
Well, as I walk down the hall today, I notice guy B ahead of me and he pulls off to the side. Okay, whatever, he's waiting for a friend. He's pretty good friends with a couple guys in the band who have their lockers upstairs, where I have mine. No big deal. When I get up to where he is standing, he walks besides me. I'm not freaked out, band kids do this all the time. To have someone you know/in your section is even more common. So I'm all good. I'm just figuring he'll make a comment about class or some assignment we got.
SO WHEN HE ASKED ME OUT I GOT REALLY CONFUSED. I've really only known this guy for maybe a month and I don't have a really established basis with him. So as I do when I'm nervous, I kinda giggled and edged away from him, saying no and then telling him I was busy. I then kinda maybe ran up to a good band friend of mine and stuck with her until we were out near my car.
SOOO
In short I feel like a terrible person and I really want to apologize
At the same time I want to go die in a hole and never talk to him again
Unfortunately, I'll have to talk to him tomorrow
I'm not one to spread this info and gossip-the three people I talked to have no idea who he is and go to a different school
So if any one has advice...please help, I'm begging you. My one friend who I'd usually go to basically was just like.
"Yeah, he's cute. You'd look cute together."
The other was more on the lines of, "Yeah, okay?"
Edited By Taishi on 12/15/2019 at 7:01 PM.
Orcastration
Level 74
Fishy
Joined: 11/1/2018
Threads: 318
Posts: 33,448
Posted: 12/11/2019 at 9:22 AM
Post #2
Just tell him straight out.
I had a crush some time back and it spoiled any chance of being friends with the guy cuz aftw the crush wore off i was too shy to talk.
But then last summer we were at the same camp and became friends.
I only just told hi! about my crusg pn him. He was okay with it and now weve moved from that to just beng frined s.
It might seem hard but trust me, i d thry cant axcept you want to not date, theyre npt ypur friends.
Taishi
Level 64
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 8/6/2017
Threads: 30
Posts: 501
Posted: 12/11/2019 at 3:47 PM
Post #3
Thanks Orca. It is a heck of a lot less awkward after a few days and we seem to be getting back to normal, so I'm pretty relieved.
Sharpplan
Level 53
Joined: 12/3/2019
Threads: 2
Posts: 1,096
Posted: 12/11/2019 at 5:11 PM
Post #4
Take life by the horns and go for it! Out of your entire life, if you break up, that will be a single bad day among hundreds of good ones!
I only have my girlfriend because I accidentally tripped her in public ;-; so I took her out to apologize, and here we are.
Larkian
Level 75
The Tactician
Joined: 5/15/2018
Threads: 104
Posts: 16,999
Posted: 12/15/2019 at 5:13 PM
Post #5
Pff, I'm late to the party but this reminds me of last year, yippee.
I'm an orchestra student in high school. I, of course, play first violin. No, we do not have huge egos, contrary to stereotypes, either xD
Most of my friends are guys, because guys are more chill in my opinion, and all the girls at my school like to gossip and put on makeup in the bathroom. What's really irritating is that everyone is like, "Are you two dating?" and spread rumors and such, but that's another story.
Our orchestra is hilarious. Our group chats are the best. They consist of memes, spamming, and random videos that have nothing to do with orchestra. We're like one really big group of friends, after all we've lost one of the cellists in Taco Bell, and pissed off the conductor, gone to Six Flags, etc. together. It's hard to describe, but if you're in band you probably get the idea.
Sooo, the cellists are the coolest people in orch and everyone talks to them. I was particularly close to one of them, let's call him Bob, and we used to hang out a lot during lunch and stuff.
If you know me, I always talk and act in a sort of flirtatious manner, without trying to. I couldn't flirt on purpose if my life depended on it, haha. I'm just weird like that, like I touch people on the shoulder and stuff. I dunno.
So anyways, I didn't like Bob in that way, but apparently he did, because he started, like, no-so-discreetly waiting for me outside my classes and 'accidentally' crossing paths with me in the hallway and stalling outside looking at posters for five minutes but 'happening to' leave just in time to walk to class with me, but not actually talking to me like a normal person.
It got to the point where I was taking long-winded routes around the school to avoid him, and hiding behind the bike rack when he came out of the multi, because he was very obviously looking to see when I stood up after lunch to go outside in order to follow me out. When I hid, he was very obviously looking around for me. It was hilarious, in a frustrating way. And at one point, he and my friend, let's call him Danny, were coming from the same class, but not the same class as me. I was waiting for Danny, but Bob came out the door first, so I ran the opposite direction, down the stairs, doubled back across the hall but on the first story, and went back up the stairs again to meet Danny, who was very confused. Oh, the lengths I take to avoid people.
Eventually, long story short, I confronted Bob, and as I was telling him to stop, he just turned around and walked away, and basically stopped. I think. We don't talk that much any more. Yay? Also, I was sort-of-not flirtatiously talking to the third-chair cellist in front of him. I think Bob might be jealous of Danny now, who by the way, is also a cellist and is Bob's sort-of friend (all of the cellists are really good friends, being in the same section and all). Danny finds it hilarious.
I need to talk to people other than cellists.
So, anyways, I'd suggest just telling him you're not interested, but make sure it doesn't end up like Bob and me? If all else fails, talk to the other guy more, I dunno. I'm horrible at situations like this.
Edited By Larkien on 12/15/2019 at 5:17 PM.
Taishi
Level 64
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 8/6/2017
Threads: 30
Posts: 501
Posted: 12/15/2019 at 7:00 PM
Post #6
So relevant tho!
I have drastic personality changes around people-with some people I'll be more open and playful, while others I'll be more reserved. So people assume I like someone or them.
Thankfully I've never had a situation like yours, I usually just lose that person as a friend.
Hope Bob isn't going to hold it against you forever. Thanks for the advice!
GENERAL UPDATE: The issue has mostly been resolved. Its still a bit rocky but I don't think he was in as deep as the others so he bounced back pretty quickly. :)
Larkian
Level 75
The Tactician
Joined: 5/15/2018
Threads: 104
Posts: 16,999
Posted: 12/15/2019 at 7:13 PM
Post #7
That's great :P
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