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Vanikmal
Level 71
Trickster
Joined: 2/11/2017
Threads: 65
Posts: 1,146
Posted: 11/5/2019 at 9:45 AM
Post #1171
Brianna, Dragon Tamer
Critiqued:
This story kinda sucks but I tried. I'm better at designing. lol
Brianna was born to a large kingdom's king and queen. At this time, dragons lived and roamed the Earth, but were killed and hunted for their scales, and called a threat to humanity. Brianna had different views and saw the killing of dragons for their scales as cruel. She one day found a golden dragon egg and snuck it in her room. For months, she managed to keep the little egg safe, until it hatched into a beautiful black and gold Wyvern. She easily became friends with the rowdy little fellow and continued to hide her secret from her family. Soon the dragon started getting bigger, and it had to leave Brianna's room before it destroyed anything. She was heartbroken to see him leave but figured he would live a better life out in the wild. A few years later, after finding out she had the powers to "tame" and "command" dragons, she heard the news that another dragon had been hunted and killed and that its scales would make the kingdom rich. Her family went down to the village to collect the scales when Bri realized it was the dragon she had cared for years ago. She became extremely angry and ran away, now hating humans and wanting to live with the dragons. Brianna was able to tame the dragons she came across, and now destroys other kingdoms that hunt down dragons.
She is a villain technically to humans, that's how they see her. She sees herself as a protector of the dragons.
Critique:
I love how your story was so detailed, it drew me and explained very well how she became a villain, but your design did not really match. It seemed too clustered and the colors were clashing. The butterfly wings did not make sense and caused a lot of the color clashing. I can tell you wanted a spooky, evil looking character, but I just couldn't see "evil" in some parts of your design.
--->
Edited By Koterfaye on 11/7/2019 at 7:14 PM.
Wooloothedarklord
Level 63
Warden of Umbra
Joined: 2/21/2019
Threads: 114
Posts: 2,742
Posted: 11/5/2019 at 3:36 PM
Post #1172
sorry but i have to opt out i have schoolwork and art commissions to do :P
Celticnuru
Level 70
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 12/17/2017
Threads: 244
Posts: 4,998
Posted: 11/5/2019 at 4:45 PM
Post #1173
All right hon. Just remember not to opt out too often or too many times in a row.
Also remember that next weekend's challenge is mandatory.
Celticnuru
Level 70
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 12/17/2017
Threads: 244
Posts: 4,998
Posted: 11/6/2019 at 7:41 AM
Post #1174
Good Morning/Evening,
I am PINGing the 3 of you as we have yet to receive a submission from any of you for this challenge. That is ok though. There is still PLENTY of time. Deadline is Sunday at 5pm CST. Please make sure to submit soon, so that your fellow designers are not left waiting for you to critique their designs as they will need time to do their altered pieces.
If you opt out, though I hope you don't...Remember not to opt out too often or too much in a row. The mandatory challenge is also next week, which requires participation by all.
If you have any questions or concerns, please let me know. Otherwise we look forward to seeing what you bring to the table thus week.
Edited By Celticnuru on 11/8/2019 at 10:22 PM.
Articu
Level 70
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 4/20/2016
Threads: 146
Posts: 1,782
Posted: 11/7/2019 at 2:08 PM
Post #1175
critiqued:
nyvelia, dark dream
nyvelia is a demon (witch?) that appears in the dreams of those who have violent and chaotic thoughts. although she does not usually interact directly with those she appears to, the sight of nyvelia in dreams drives people insane and encourages them to act upon their vicious thoughts. she revels in the chaos that ensues. she takes a particular interest in visiting and tormenting those who have caused severe heartbreak.
she was not always evil, though. before her demise centuries ago, she was a kind wizard who delighted in helping anyone who asked for her assistance. she fell in love with a man that came to her for help for his mother, who was very ill. they were together until the man's mother was nourished back to health. nyvelia soon realized that the man only wanted her around in order to heal his mother, for as soon as she recovered, both shunned her. rumors began to spread that nyvelia was the one that caused the illness in the first place; the villagers rejected her pleas and forced her out of the village. furious and devastated, nyvelia vowed to torture those she deemed blackhearts.
(blackhearts, a fake word i made up: people who use others for their own gain)
o~o~o~o~o~O~o~o~o~o~o
oh my goodness, koterfaye, this is beautiful *drools on design* it's so hard to find anything i'd do differently. the black and gold go together beautifully. really, the only thing i would change is adding a background that is dragon-like (it makes sense for her to have a dragon companion, right?). so i swapped your background for the Shadow Stalker (Rage), and also changed the Nightmare Lord's Wings to the Demon Hunter Wings to you could see the dragon ^w^ you also wrote a very nice and touching story, and i definitely side with her >:D arti love dragons *loud screaming*
original:
critiqued:
Edited By Articu on 11/8/2019 at 8:49 AM.
Sunflora
Level 71
Ghost Writer
Joined: 6/6/2018
Threads: 10
Posts: 536
Posted: 11/7/2019 at 4:03 PM
Post #1176
Oh no, another really good design. Your character is absolutely beautiful and just screams evil at first sight! I really love how she indirectly interacts with her victims like she's the voice inside their head. The backstory is also rather fascinating and it kinda makes me feel bad for her. If I suffered a severe heartbreak, I'd probably do the same, lol. I did feel like the colors in the outfit itself didn't quite match everything else. I would incorporate dark purples and dark indigos to the base colors and change the accent at the top from purple to red for a nice pop of color. Well done!
King Aasaugur is the ruler of the magical Kingdom of Montrera. Coming from a long line of royalty, he has let the influence of poor and corrupt advisors mold him into a corrupt and callous king who does things for the good of himself. Forty years earlier, he had made a decree that all Elementals shall be wiped out of existence. But perhaps the reason for this decree was because he himself was cast aside at a young age because he did not harbor a special elemental power unlike his brother, the late Prince Auldean. Even with his kingdom on the edge of war, King Aasaugur is oblivious to the calls of his people and leading his once beautiful kingdom into chaos.
Celticnuru
Level 70
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 12/17/2017
Threads: 244
Posts: 4,998
Posted: 11/7/2019 at 10:06 PM
Post #1177
I will be doing updates tomorrow so long as hubby is not going back to the ER. >_< Either way they will be done tomorrow. Just not sure yet if it will be more or evening. Just remember for those that haven't yet fixed their design post or not submitted a design please do so before deadline!!
Edited By Celticnuru on 11/10/2019 at 7:11 AM.
Limor
Level 72
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 7/5/2016
Threads: 293
Posts: 19,132
Posted: 11/7/2019 at 10:37 PM
Post #1178
https://www.sylestia.com/forums/?thread=82376
Can I get a ping for this?
Celticnuru
Level 70
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 12/17/2017
Threads: 244
Posts: 4,998
Posted: 11/8/2019 at 10:20 PM
Post #1179
Sai hon, your altered design needs to be next to your original. You need them close together so people can see the changes made better. Please correct that before deadline.
Sairento
Level 75
High Priest
Joined: 8/24/2018
Threads: 164
Posts: 7,943
Posted: 11/8/2019 at 10:24 PM
Post #1180
Alrighty, done~!
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