Hello, everybody!
The first round is over! (A long time ago) And I apologise for my lateness. School and tests have kept me busy quite some time and I could only come on for very short intervals of time. But that's over, so yay!
All stories that were entered were amazing, and great to read! Since this was the first round and only a part of those who signed up entered, there will be no participants that will be eliminated. Instead, those who did not enter will be eliminated, and since they did not participate, they will not be getting a prize. As long as you entered something, even as a partial entry, you will be eligible to go on to the next round.
So! Onto the writing...
Ill be giving some quick comments on each piece of writing, and after this round, please tell me if you want me to write a comment on your story after each round*. Feel free to tell me not to write a comment, as it also makes my life easier if I can write less comments.
*If you don't tell me to write a comment, Ill assume you don't want a comment and not write one
Pickless
First thing that came into my mind when I was reading yours- Undertale. And sure, that's a bit weird, since your story had nothing to do with it. It's just as a hardcore Undertale fan, I see "Sans" and start fangirling. Anyways! Your story was very descriptive with imagery and the setting, giving us a snowy sense of the area. The story itself, at least the first part, was very light-hearted and warm, and I thought that was really cute. The last part was slightly creepy and again, angsty fantasy. Great story!
Griffinlokison
Oh. My. Goodness! That was a wonderful story with a lot of character development! So much fluff, too, and I almost couldn't bear the cuteness of everything. The ending was really sad, though. Troy didn't have to die. Armin didn't have to die. The duchess person deserves to die. I mean really, people who are in love should be allowed to be together. Theres nothing wrong with being gay. Also, this line: And since it cost my son's life," Lenina, the duchess, continued, "it will also cost yours. Go to hell, Armin. Crazy lady! Nothing would have gone wrong if you accepted the fact that they liked each other. People are weird!
Ivycat
This story is borderline creepy-ish. I dunno what to say, really. All descriptions and events are on-point, and I kind of felt bad for the spider because it did nothing wrong and Velos is just there, venting or doing something. Also, things are pretty mysterious with your story, aren't they? Whats the setting? Why is Velos in a room with pretty much nothing else? And then, of course, theres the weird voice in his head claiming hes of a rank of blood that shouldn't live. I was confused at what was going on, but everything seemed to fall into place and made sense somehow even though I didn't know what was happening. Awesome writing, and I want to see more of it because I want to know what happens next and hopefully I get some explanation.
Dragongem23
Meteorite! Giant rocks falling from the sky! Yay! Wow, your story was really suspenseful and intense. Theres definitely something wrong with the entire process of the organisation that deals with the excavating of the meteorite, no? Yin-yang symbol on a door, red fish scale design, golden feather design maybe this is normal or whatever, but something really seems wrong to me. You did a very good job at setting an ominous mood for the entire story. And yes, please do continue. Just not on wattpad because I cant use wattpad :P
Dracornpotato
As always, your writing is so amazing! Theres something about your writing style that just sets you apart from others, and I can see that, by the feeling I get whenever I read your writing the mood and tone is all set to something dark, and all of your words are extremely descriptive and the imagery! Oh, the imagery. Everything is so good for your story and everything all fits into place, even though I didn't even get any background for whats happening. Again, its so good! Especially the last two paragraphs. I don't even know how to express how awesome your writing is.
Aurusei
Again! Wonderful writing as usual, nothing less than I expected from last years contests winner. Normal, right? Creepy story, creepy story. You're the best at writing anything related to creepy things. Your stories always start off with something very lighthearted and it seems like something a young girl would usually dream up. But things get scary and dark, and I really like how you used the girls thoughts to show there was a monster with a scythe coming at her. Instead of saying there was a creepy monster coming towards me with a blade you used the Why is there a monster? Why is he drawing nearer? Why does he have the tool mommy uses to cut vegetables? Ooh! So good! Especially the fact that in the girls young mind she doesn't know what the blade the monster is holding is actually called, but she assumes its the tool her mother uses. Again, with context, I think its a scythe. It might not be, but thats what I got from the story. Amaaazing!
Streamstar
I really like how you mixed in elements from science fiction and stuff, adding to a character who was raised in a world where she had to use skills in a natural world. However, your story doesn't really contain anything that could be considered a fantasy, so it would have been better if you entered it for the realistic fiction prompt. What really makes me confused is that at the end, her heartbeat speeds up and suddenly stops because she had just been hung. There was no sign of anything that could have hung her mentioned in the story, so it was a bit confusing for me.
Ivyfrost
Im going to assume your story is a partial entry, because it doesn't seem finished and it seems cut off suddenly at the last line. You also haven't mentioned which prompt you were entering to, so that was a bit confusing for me and the other judges. Nonetheless, it contains some very interesting imagery and through context, I am assuming you are answering to the dream but somethings wrong prompt due to the line it was a perfect dream. Also, your story escalated super quickly and surprised me, with the super scary/creepy ending with the slender man.
Fengarri
When I read your story Im like What? Fred died!? Oh no! (That escalated quickly!) And everything gets really confusing because suddenly this dragon pops up and swallows everyone And oh geez, the last two lines were super I don't even know how to describe how I felt when I read this. And definitely, like you described it, the story was Weird and Creepy. Great writing!
Spicybb
Oh. Wow. Creepy, melancholic story there. From context, I am going to assume the boy got hit by the car and then died, but his consciousness/soul/spirit is still there, which is why he's wondering all of this and he wants to wake up. The story was creepy to an extent, but then really sad the boy is another example of another kid who wouldn't be able to grow up and see the world change. Another life lost, no? When reading this I just suddenly feel how sad our world is. Breathtaking story and wonderful descriptions!
Dragonnadder
Amazing setting and the words you used to describe everything and set the mood! Especially the first word. Darkness. It isn't going to be good, isn't it? My reader senses are all tingling and such. The story continues in a very slow pace, which makes everything even more scary than it probably should have been, which is a really good thing. You utilized the symbol of the fire as something very important in your story, the root of all the fear.
Rangerdanger55
LOoooooOOOng story there! I absolutely love it. I super appreciate the fact that you took this contest as something to let your creativity flow and write a long story instead of entering a story just to participate in the contest. Your story contains so much feeling, and a lot of characterization and plot development And CHARA! The inner Undertale fangirl has revealed herself again. I should really stop becoming hyper at names like Chara. But, anyways, all of your characters are planned out very well, with their own unique personality, and you have multiple characters and its amazing that you can keep track of their distinctive personalities without somehow merging them together in the process. Style died very sadly and a lot of other dogs
Amberheart04
Your realistic fiction is very realistic fiction, written with a very interesting plot and a lot of detail. Your story is more of the classical realistic fiction stories that take place in school, but it has its own unique twist to it. A lot of description, especially with everything the main character is feeling and thinking, doing a very good job of progressing the story through showing and not telling. The ending? So cute and fluffy. Emily and Mark are totally cute together!
18eities
Beautiful. One word can describe your entire story. Beautiful, indeed, especially how you wrote everything. With a very unique writing style that is close to a poetic one, your descriptions are on-point and the story proceeds on with an even pace, even though its just one dream. A dream where eons pass, but one filled with so much passive play, and your character is one with a very interesting personality. When she woke up, I wanted to hug her because to me she was like a smol cinnamon bun that needs to be protected from the world.
Analieza
WHAO. Whao. whao. So much feels, no? The first paragraph starts out scary- then gets suspicious because we all know something bad is going to happen. Second paragraph- oh my gosh! It was so tragic- the girl she she thought everything was fake. This was very interesting to read, as its from a different point of view and not from the point of view of the dreamer (at least the last two aren't). The monkey is a symbol of her safety, isn't it? Its something important to her and in the end, she looses it, but it helps stabilize her. Wow I just wonderful story.
Ghostwings20
Short story- fast paced, and everything escalates very quickly. Imagine the main characters surprise at seeing the creepy man you captured it wonderfully! I did get creepy shivers down my spine when reading yours, and well, its really short, but everything is done really well, all the emotions are shown very obviously, even if the story was as short as it was.
Unwantedclinomaniac
*sucks in deep breath* The feeeeeeels! The first paragraph was so descriptive- I felt like I was there oh, it was so sad. The knight died and I assume the main character was really sad about his death, although Im pretty sure my assumption is correct there. The story is more like a nightmare after a traumatic event, right? Its the type of dream that pops up every so often that makes one feel horrible and alone, try as they might to forget what happened. Yeah, your story had a wave of feels in it.
Skyraven
Whoa. Magic! So the main character could change the flow of time with her emotions and she's a psychologically unstable kid, I believe? Anyways, I think Cammi is just so cute. even though she's just the dog. Maybe she symbolizes something, an anchor, for the beginning of each timeline? I think your story is extremely interesting and creative, because even I could've never thought up something like this. Awesome work!
Emberfall777
Amazing writing! Your story is really creepy and disturbing before he wakes up, and then the story turns very lighthearted. However, you quite didn't get to the prompt where the character wakes up but then they're okay, which is different from the prompt, which is something is wrong. Anyways, your story is very warm-hearted and makes readers feel happy!
Dunno
Wow this is really good! Its set in some fantasy world that I don't know anything about, but through your short story, I know enough about the world to know whats going on. Thats due to your amazing descriptions and characterisation, in which the setting is known and now I know whats going on. Also, fancy titles! Keykeeper seems pretty cool. And in the end, it became a bit creepy. What I got is that apparently Evangel fused with Angelica in some way or another and well, Exa's doomed.
Enyo
Wow! What an interesting story to read! Since Im not one for folktales and mythical animals, (I do mythology & gods/goddesses more) I got to learn something new about the Ankou and its ways! It was really ironic that the person that killed the main character was the person that was next to be reaped by the new Ankou. But you do raise the correct question: who's fault was it really? Who's death was the most unfair? I don't have an answer, so Ill let the questions be. The ending of the story was really warm, even though the main character goes through so much suffering and sadness. Theres a saying Everything will be okay in the end. If nothings okay, then its not the end yet. True, true.
Goldenfeather74
First thing: super creepy! And, also, super philosophical and deep for some reason. What is reality, have you ever thought of it? Who tells us what is real and what isn't? And even if we see it in our own eyes, can we even prove it exists, or if its real? What if everything was an illusion You've made my philosophical side pop out now, and awesome, a computer overlord. Great writing!
Livinginmyownreality
Wow this batch of stories have been really sad, and you, being the last one, just add to the pile of feels. *sniffs* Anyways, its a great piece of writing. I cant express how much emotions you've shown through that story, and all of the showing, not telling, has made everything even more sad than it would have been if you'd just said everything straight out. Just AHHHH. A superb piece of writing!
So! Thats all for the stories and my comments on them!
Everyone who entered can proceed to the next round, which would be:
Pickless!
Griffinlokison!
Ivycat!
Dragongem23!
Dracornpotato!
Aurusei!
Streamstar!
Ivyfrost!
Fengarri!
Spicybb!
Dragonnadder!
Rangerdanger55!
Amberheart04!
18eities!
Analieza!
Ghostwings20!
Unwantedclinomaniac!
Skyraven!
Emberfall777!
Dunno!
Enyo!
Goldenfeather74!
Livinginmyownreality!
ROUND 2
Ends April 12, 12PM game time!
Write ONE of the three following:
-Your characters friend is going through some sort of crisis and they are depressed and unhappy. Have your character send a letter to them, cheering them up!
-In a sci-fi world, once humans are born they are put into a virtual reality, so everybody grows up, not knowing what is real or what is not. Things are starting to fall apart in the virtual reality... and your character is suspicious about it.
-A story that begins with "Things fall apart; anarchy is loosened upon earth" (Credit where credit is due, that line is from a poem and I did not come up with it.) You could write a story, or a poem (that is not a super-short poem). If you decide to do the poem, extra points to you!
Good luck to all remaining contestants! :D
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