Wasn't sure if I should answer (since you mentioned how you don't want pity and I can respect that) however I did just want to say thank you for coming out like that, it took some courage and if you ever need to talk or just vent or whatever I'd be happy to help any way I can

mhm thats understandable, and i'm usually online and open to chat so just send me a message ^-^ (even if its just to chat about something cool that happened to you today or smth, shouldn't always be doom n' gloom right?)

Delete if not allowed, i got a ping and came on to see... I wasnt going to post because id be posting somthing not only off topic but butting in when people need to talk or vent... Just wondering why i was pinged again after a few months.

Pity's for the weak. You are not weak.

This isn't pity. These aren't suggestions. You're going to hate reading this. But you ask for help, you're going to be told to do hard things. You want to change for the better, you're going to have to be told to do so.

I can't tell you not to harm yourself nor hate yourself. Then I'd be a hypocrite.

But I will tell you this. As egotistical as it may sound, focusing on yourself may very well be to your benefit. And I don't mean putting yourself before all else. Instead of looking at others and seeing what you can't do, look at yourself. Compile a list. What can you do. What are your traits. What makes you beautiful and an asset. It's hard. It's supposed to be. We live in a society where everyone wants us to think it's bad to see the good in ourselves. But they're wrong. If there's something good in you, see it, hold onto it, and show it to others. Make the world a better place.

Reach out and help others. I was once in a situation where I couldn't even ask a teacher a question without going into a blind (and admittedly teary) panic. I'm not sure if you're the same way, but if you are, look at others. Regardless of your own opinion of them, look for any little thing you can compliment. you don't have to say anything at first, but even if you find you want to say something but don't or, even better, regret not saying it earlier, it'll prepare you mentally to do it another time. Hey, nice shirt! I like your shoes! You tell the best jokes. Thanks for treating me like a person. No matter how small it may seem, it'll not only lift others, but you'll start to feel good about yourself. They smile, they laugh, they say, "Thanks, that really made my day!". You walk away knowing you made even just one person's world a better place.

And oh my gosh, YOU'RE STILL YOUNG. One of my BIGGEST pet peeves is the fact that this generation is taught we need to grow up ASAP. NO. DON'T. The people who teach that principle, indirectly or otherwise, clearly don't realize we're out of the age where kids could get married and become baby factories at age twelve. One kid made the choice to be with someone else. I speak from experience when I say THERE ARE MORE OF THEM OUT THERE. It happens. Brush yourself off and keep going. GoodNESS. Do yourself a favor, don't get serious until your brain is fully developed, okay? Don't hop on the bandwagon.

~~with all the affection my socially handicapped brain can muster~~

Unfortunately, the only advice I can offer is to just give it time. Do what you feel is best.

But for real, on a side note, if he's not willing to give you a second chance... *cough*