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Vaingel
Level 72
Warden of Umbra
Joined: 5/17/2018
Threads: 38
Posts: 1,514
Posted: 12/17/2019 at 8:49 AM
Post #1461
Hmm
Quite the pickle...
I dunno what to tell you... I guess just give it time? It'll hurt for now, but with time, you'll find love again, and maybe it'll be better, and less manipulative and deceitful.
Articu
Level 70
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 4/20/2016
Threads: 146
Posts: 1,782
Posted: 12/17/2019 at 10:42 AM
Post #1462
yeah :( at least he wasn't in class today. that made things easier. i want to eradicate him with a laser
Vaingel
Level 72
Warden of Umbra
Joined: 5/17/2018
Threads: 38
Posts: 1,514
Posted: 12/17/2019 at 10:49 AM
Post #1463
... a laser of love or of hatred and destruction?
Articu
Level 70
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 4/20/2016
Threads: 146
Posts: 1,782
Posted: 12/17/2019 at 10:54 AM
Post #1464
a laser of "begone thot"
Vaingel
Level 72
Warden of Umbra
Joined: 5/17/2018
Threads: 38
Posts: 1,514
Posted: 12/17/2019 at 10:56 AM
Post #1465
XD
That... that sounds like a good laser to use on him
I hope you find one xwx
Larkian
Level 75
The Tactician
Joined: 5/15/2018
Threads: 104
Posts: 16,999
Posted: 12/19/2019 at 11:14 PM
Post #1466
Well, it's about time I vented too. This reminds me far too much of my own life.
Can I slap this person, by the way?
Sooo, how shall I start. I've never hurt myself. Never wanted to. If I did, it would only be because I want to see if anyone cares. I don't know if I'm supposed to want to. I'm just scared of pain, I guess. Although I rip out my hair occasionally. Maybe I want to give it a chance before I give up.
A week ago, I was backed up against the door that led out of the house, being told how worthless I am and the way I act, I should not be in this house, etc. etc. Also, being slapped repeatedly when I try to apologize because "my apologies mean nothing". Although slaps don't hurt as much as thinner things. I could have turned and ran. I didn't.
Why?
I couldn't have. I will wait. Also, it's not always like this. Some days, it's alright. I have normal-person privileges. I have a normal life, and they care, and I feel loved. And that ties me down too much to run. But when it's not like this, I wish the good days never existed so I could just yeet the hell outta there with no misgivings. And there's my brother, who I wouldn't leave behind. Even though he's going to college next year. Bleh. If I didn't care, I would fight like hell and never come back. Of course, I wouldn't have anywhere to go, soooooo, not the best idea.
The other day, I overheard my mom telling my dad that the only way to get into that idiot brain of mine is beating. I've got to be careful where I tread. Not talking back (well, trying). Being that innocent submissive girl they all think I am. Then the moment I'm free, I shall march outta there and never come back. Never tell them how I feel, but cut contact to a minimum. Find people who aren't related to me, maybe, but more family than them.
Also, the friends thing. I have one close friend that I could share anything with. "You have such a horrible personality, no wonder you have no friends." Well, I do. Friend. And it's a lot closer than you'd ever be with any of your friends. F*ck you. I vent to her occasionally, but I feel like I'm weighing her down, because her mother stopped doing that a long time ago and she doesn't understand it, and she can't do anything.
So... yay. There is more, but I forget at the moment and time to go to my lovely early bedtime because "your life will be ruined if you don't grow, and sleeping late will stunt your growth". Also, I'm less that 5 feet tall. Intimidating, I know.
Kaora
Level 35
Joined: 4/5/2019
Threads: 22
Posts: 640
Posted: 12/23/2019 at 1:13 PM
Post #1467
You certainly shouldn't lie about anything like that, to anyone (unless they would make it worse). If your friends care about you, they'll do everything in your power to help. And yes, other people might have it worse, but you most certainly have it bad. If you're getting hurt, physically or mentally, you need to tell someone. Saying it online won't change anything, I'm sure you know that.
If you want to get out of this situation, and I'm sure you do, you can't just talk about it online. You need to go to an adult that you trust, a teacher or a therapist. They can help you.
I'm sorry I can't give you the best advice. If you want to talk more in-depth, PM me and I promise I'll respond as soon as I can.
I honestly hope you get out of this situation soon. No one deserves to be in such a horrible place in life.
