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Articu
Level 70
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 4/20/2016
Threads: 146
Posts: 1,782
Posted: 1/7/2020 at 7:50 AM
Post #1511
thank you <3
so far there's really nothing to report besides this:
~~~~~~~~
him: And neither have I. It's just gonna take time. In the past I was being selfish. I want what is best for both of us. I want some type of future with. Do I guarantee something will happen in high school? No but can I guarantee that I will be by your side and be your friend? Yes
me: i hope you mean that this time. it's just... *sigh* i really hope you can understand why i say this, but i won't want to have something with you in the future if you have a girlfriend before you graduate. you told me not long ago that you wanted time away from a relationship, and i can respect that. but it's hard to trust that when you've told me that twice before, and both times you were with someone within a week. i don't want to be mean or upset you, but i just can't do it if that's what happens. this is going to sound blunt and sound like an ultimatum, and i don't mean it like that, but you either wait for me as i do you, or say goodbye to having something with me. i can't put myself through that hurt
him: I respect that and I do mean it
~~~~~~~~
so we'll see what happens, i guess
Vaingel
Level 72
Warden of Umbra
Joined: 5/17/2018
Threads: 38
Posts: 1,514
Posted: 1/9/2020 at 3:26 PM
Post #1512
Maybe there is finally some resolve!
Hopefully he's telling the truth and is a good friend to you this time.
Articu
Level 70
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 4/20/2016
Threads: 146
Posts: 1,782
Posted: 1/9/2020 at 3:53 PM
Post #1513
*shrug* we haven't yet fought this week. it's been pretty good, actually
on monday, he got sad and scooted really close to me, so we were (it was kind of awkward for me, at least) ?cuddling? in class, and he started walking with me to all my classes like he used to
tuesday was a normal day, by that i mean just a few nudges here and there, and then right before 7th he gave me a hug
yesterday in class he went through my hair a couple times (i had my brush sitting on the table). then after a while, his friend started annoying him, so he picked up my brush and went to hit his friend with it. i grabbed his arm to try and get him to sit down, but he yanked away and that move pulled a muscle in my arm. he came back, sat down, asked where it hurt, then started rubbing my arm and apologizing for hurting me
so... yea
Vaingel
Level 72
Warden of Umbra
Joined: 5/17/2018
Threads: 38
Posts: 1,514
Posted: 1/9/2020 at 9:35 PM
Post #1514
Huh... such a turn of events! Good for him.
So... will he still go by 'bumbling moron'?
Articu
Level 70
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 4/20/2016
Threads: 146
Posts: 1,782
Posted: 1/10/2020 at 8:41 AM
Post #1515
well.... i suppose not. i'll call him jay from now on
i'm kind of surprised he's been so friendly. i did not expect us to go for a week without arguing. well, there's still today to get through, but you know what i mean
Vaingel
Level 72
Warden of Umbra
Joined: 5/17/2018
Threads: 38
Posts: 1,514
Posted: 1/10/2020 at 9:16 AM
Post #1516
Yeah... Good luck today, I'm here for you if anything happens.
Articu
Level 70
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 4/20/2016
Threads: 146
Posts: 1,782
Posted: 1/10/2020 at 10:26 PM
Post #1517
*exhausted sigh* never mind about him and i getting along. i've decided to completely cut myself off from him
Articu
Level 70
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 4/20/2016
Threads: 146
Posts: 1,782
Posted: 1/11/2020 at 11:21 AM
Post #1518
him: I know. Kaydee and I talked things out and I don't think she cheated. I think the person that told was lying
me: *tired blink* ...
him: What?
me: i can't do this. it hurts too much
him: Can't do what
me: *tired sigh* i can't deal with you talking to your exes and "talking things out" and keeping in touch with them. you still care about them; i know you do. it's too much for my heart to handle. i'm not going to tell you who and who not to talk to. so i'll just go. it's too much for me and my heart and my head
him: Of course I care about them. You can't just stop caring about someone that you deeply and truly cared for. Why are you leaving??? I need you
me: because i'm not comfortable with you being so close to them
him: [sad emojis]
me: i'm not going to make you choose. i'll do it for you and leave
him: If you want to leave then leave. I just wanted a friendship [sad emojis]
me: *sad blink* do you think i want to leave? no. but i can't trust you. if you loved me as you say you do, then you wouldn't do things that hurt me. i have to take myself away from the hurt. i have to love you enough to let you go.
him: That's why we take time to build trust. Trust just doesn't happen overnight Amanda
me: i know it doesn't. but you wouldn't trust me if i stayed attached to max and river. i know you wouldn't have trusted me
him: If you want to abandon me then go ahead
me: abandon you. really, jaynen? i'm waiting for you to give me a reason to stay. but, fine. have it your way
him: If I had it my way you would stay
me: all i'm asking for is a reason i should stay. if you could promise that you aren't still in the feels for your exes, or at the least, friend zone them if they tried to make a move or something, then i'd stay. you even said this: I want what is best for both of us. I want some type of future with you. don't you know how badly i want to stay? don't you know how badly i want you to give me a reason to stay?
me: *sad blink* but you either can't or won't do that
me: .... fine, jaynen. i see how you really feel about me. i see how much you care about me now.
me: *tired sigh* you probably already deleted outlook. either that or you're just ignoring me now. i don't know which it is. i do love you a lot. i love you so much. enough that i'll stay and try to put the hurt aside for you. all you need to do is answer me. but i know you won't.
me: i guess this is it, love. my last message to you. after this, i'll consider you out of my life, as you won't even talk to me now. i love you so much, and part of me will always love you. perhaps sometime in the future, we may be able to put this all behind us and learn to love and trust each other again. but that simply isn't possible right now. i'll never forget you and what you taught me, my love. may you be happy.
~~~~~~~
i hate myself so much. trying to be friends with him was a huge mistake
Larkian
Level 75
The Tactician
Joined: 5/15/2018
Threads: 104
Posts: 16,999
Posted: 1/11/2020 at 11:33 AM
Post #1519
HOW COULD HE
Give him an internet punch for me. Or a real life punch, the next time you see him.
...
...
*awkward hugs, since I'm not usually a hugging person*
You have to get over him, don't put one toe into the relationship, because that seems to be where all of this hurt is coming from. The way it sounds, it will be difficult to ignore him, but you gotta try. Find someone worth your effort, unlike him.
Either that, or you need to take a looooong break, then return to him on your own terms and decision, not dragged back into it, have a looooong talk in real life, work every single little thing out, and then maybe try it again.
... Dang, that name reminds me of an old friend I lost because kids are cruel and stupid
Articu
Level 70
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 4/20/2016
Threads: 146
Posts: 1,782
Posted: 1/11/2020 at 11:53 AM
Post #1520
*hugs back and sighs sadly* jaynen is by no means a bad person. an idiot sometimes, yes, but not really a bad person. he just has some growing up left to do. like learning how to understand why people get upset
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