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Yamii
Level 62
Trickster
Joined: 10/14/2019
Threads: 163
Posts: 4,952
Posted: 11/5/2020 at 3:16 PM
Post #31
Thanks, I've been working very hard. Btw, someday you'll find a story that you'll feel motivated enough to finish, I'm sure. I've probably got at least 20 unfinished stories, just kept writing until I found that one story.
Kiwi14
Level 60
Candy Dispenser
Joined: 1/21/2019
Threads: 55
Posts: 11,931
Posted: 11/5/2020 at 4:03 PM
Post #32
Sounds like you have been working hard! I guess maybe one day xP. Right now with me ADHD I have trouble focusing on writing huge stories, but maybe if I worked in the middle of the night...? I have a decent amount of story ideas, though most are not written down! I do want to write them all, including Void and Plot-Twister... maybe I should write a ship story about them xD. Off topic, eek, anyways thanks, I hope I can one day write most my story ideas
Theialish
Level 70
Warden of Umbra
Joined: 2/8/2019
Threads: 60
Posts: 4,986
Posted: 11/5/2020 at 5:08 PM
Post #33
Username: Uieaoeia
Pinglist?: yes
Genre of writing?: anything except history-related stuff. get that away from me.
Are you here to improve your writing skills or to Criticize?: improve
Extra (anything else you want to say): don't be too strict, my feelings are easily shattered x.x
Kiwi14
Level 60
Candy Dispenser
Joined: 1/21/2019
Threads: 55
Posts: 11,931
Posted: 11/5/2020 at 5:26 PM
Post #34
Yay... to add to the army of people that exist now xD. We can improve together!
Theialish
Level 70
Warden of Umbra
Joined: 2/8/2019
Threads: 60
Posts: 4,986
Posted: 11/5/2020 at 6:25 PM
Post #35
pong
Hey, I have a bit of a story I'm writing. It's about one of my OCs.
I'm thinking of having it in first person, because I don't use that often.
~~~~~~
At first I was in peace. I don't remember that time very well; everything about seems elusive. However, that past was thrown into a catastrophic mess of destruction and death. I couldn't see very well, as I was very young. Voices echoed through my mind, yet I couldn't make them out. I knew they belonged to one of my kind, but who? The memory ended suddenly, with an archaic hiss. Those voices I had heard earlier were panicked. They faded away into oblivion, as my thoughts entered a coma-like stasis.
The next thing I currently endure is easier to picture. In the ever-growing cloud of darkness, I believe I'm in some sort of afterlife purgatory. A purgatory where I'm in constant darkness, forced to face my darkest demons. My limp body has no choice but to sink into the darkness. I can faintly feel a slight touch, vibrating over my skin. What could possibly be touching me?
I begin to slip in and out of my coma, as the touch waxes and wanes like the moon. When I try to wake up, I can recongize the touch as someone holding me. It seems I'm not where I was before, but I'm not exactly sure where. This waxing and waning pattern keeps on surging, tearing me apart and putting me back together.
After a while, I feel my body being put down somewhere. A somewhat familiar voice rings out from nearby.
"Brother, is that you? Wake up!"
~~~~~~
What do ya'll think?
Edited By Uieaoeia on 11/5/2020 at 7:43 PM.
Yamii
Level 62
Trickster
Joined: 10/14/2019
Threads: 163
Posts: 4,952
Posted: 11/5/2020 at 7:07 PM
Post #36
omg that's amazing i could read it one hundred times and never get bored of it. It's really good, and even my cruelest inner demons have nothing to say.
Theialish
Level 70
Warden of Umbra
Joined: 2/8/2019
Threads: 60
Posts: 4,986
Posted: 11/5/2020 at 7:21 PM
Post #37
I have a toyhouse, Veverek, if you're interested to see more OCs.
For writing, I also have Hlutskipti's Saga, which accepts characters!
https://toyhou.se/Veverek
https://www.sylestia.com/forums/?thread=93398
Hiraeth
Level 75
Hand of Destiny
Joined: 7/14/2015
Threads: 187
Posts: 2,685
Posted: 11/5/2020 at 7:41 PM
Post #38
It's a neat concept! However, it's very emotionally monotonous. What is the character feeling during this? To me, this reads as an outsider's play-by-play, which would be good for third person, but not first person. I'd also remove the 'however' in the second paragraph as it kinda interrupts the flow. :)
Theialish
Level 70
Warden of Umbra
Joined: 2/8/2019
Threads: 60
Posts: 4,986
Posted: 11/5/2020 at 7:42 PM
Post #39
never heard of monotonous writing, but thanks!
my writing is absolute garbage compared to yours
Hiraeth
Level 75
Hand of Destiny
Joined: 7/14/2015
Threads: 187
Posts: 2,685
Posted: 11/5/2020 at 7:43 PM
Post #40
awh, don't say that! :/ Everyone gets better with time. And of course, the more books you read, the better your writing will be. :)
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