@Littletoes101

How long have you been writing?: 11 years (since I was 6)
Have you finished any stories/books/collections/etc?: I've written a few novels for NaNoWriMo but none of them were particularly good
Do you have any stories here? Nup
Are you open to receiving critiques/comments?: Yes!
Are you open to giving critiques/comments?: Yes!

Nice to meet you, and welcome to the club!

Nice to meet you as well, and thanks much!

Username: Uranium
How long have you been writing?: Since I learned how to write words legibly. (4? 5?)
Have you finished any stories/books/collections/etc?: I have a ton of complete stories, and several complete personal books. (made the book myself)
Do you have any stories here? If so, please link them: My stories (the ones not posted by me are not mine)[I need to update this, I have more stories]
Are you open to receiving critiques/comments?: Yup!
Are you open to giving critiques/comments?: Yes.

Username: coradrawa
How long have you been writing?: Since I was a little bab, so about 5-6 ish
Have you finished any stories/books/collections/etc?: I try to, but my brain usually goes 'nope' ;-; But I think I have finished a few...
Do you have any stories here? If so, please link them:
I have a few buried somewhere...
Teehee, Follow Me(re-write)
The curse of a Bug
The kiss of a Demon
Are you open to receiving critiques/comments?: Yes! Anything to improve my terrible English *flails*
Are you open to giving critiques/comments?: I will try to

Link: https://www.sylestia.com/forums/?thread=28768&page=4#39 Author: Redfix Time Posted: 9/19/2015 at 6:37 PM You're story is really good! :) But here a few things that I liked and things that I think would make it even better. XD I liked the plot, it really brings in the irony that the mother would die with Cassia's hateful words as the last words she ever words. Personally, I think it would give the reader lots to think about. Like, to never say anything of that sort to a loved one, 'cause you never know when you might see them again. And you did very well on the perspective. A lot of writers have trouble writing in 3rd person perspective but you did really well! But... I think you should've let the reader know the backstory behind Cassia and her mom. Since a writer is supposed to make a reader feel, you should write about the good times that Cassia and her mom had together. Perhaps a flashback or something. Doing that will make the reader feel a more emotional bond with the characters, so that when the character dies the reader will feel sad for the loss of the character and more importantly, an awful, sympathetic feeling for Cassia. If you can make the reader cry, or despair then you are a master with words. But overall, I thought your story was good!

Oh my gosh, i think my day was just made with this!! Thanks you!! ^-^

^{I don't want anyone to be confused when reading this, so I'm going to name the characters. No, they are not real people that actually went through this. They are just names I came up with, a figment of my imagination}
This is my final entry.

"You never let me do anything!!" The girl, Cassia, screamed.
"Well maybe, if you just behave better and do what your supposed to you would be able to do things." The mother replied calmly.
"You and your fricken excuses!! Oh, you didn't do the dishes, or fold your clothes, or pick the stupid piece of lint off your jacket so you can't go out today!! Always, it's always my fault!! This time it's because i didn't tie my shoelace when you told me to! Like what if i want to trip!!? I can't do anything because of you! I hate you!!" The girl screamed at her mom. Just as their car was crossing the intersection, a drunk driver hit the driver's side of the car.

Cassia opened her eyes and saw the white ceiling above her, a faint beeping in the air. She looked around and saw machines surrounding her, tubes and wires of some sort connected to her body, she started screaming for the nurses wanting to know why she was there and where her mom was.
A pair of nurses rushed into the room, one checking the machine, the other trying to calm Cassia down.
Cassia saw the nurses name tag, "Look, Ms. Paige, I just want to know where my mom is? Where is she!?"
The nurse that was looking at the machine came around the bed and laid her hand on Cassia's shoulder, and Cassia pulled back, pain shooting down her arm. She saw that nurses name tag as well, "Ms. April, just please, tell me where my mom is, I want to see her. Please." Cassia started crying.
An older man, no more than his late 40s, walked into the room just then. "Good afternoon, Cassia, I'm Doctor, Jaxson, but you can called me Jack if you'd like. I'm afraid it isn't possible to see your mother...You see, she was put in the ICU late last night... She passed at 8 this morning. I'm sorry for your lose." He walked out the room, the nurses following him, closing the door as they left.
It took Cassia a few seconds to process the information she was just given. Her breathing got labored and the machine to her right started beeping faster, until it went silent. Nurses rushed in one by one, Cassia's vision blurred, heat flowing down her cheeks, pain exploding in her head, shooting through her whole body.
Two Months Prior
"C'mon, just blow out the dang candles already!! I want some cake!" Daniel giggled.
His mom laugh, "Danny, calm down, it's her birthday let her do what she wants." She chastised him playfully.
Cassia grinned at Danny and took her time preparing to blow out the candles, "Maybe I'll just go slooowweerrrr." She said in slow motion. Danny made a fast and she giggles, blowing out the candles.
"Finally! I want this piece, this one this one this one this oneeee!" Danny, said frantically.
"Oh.. But, but Dan," Cassia pouted, making the puppy dog face. "I wanted that piece" Cassia sniffled playfully.
"Women will be the death of me," Danny said, placing his head in his hands. Just then, their cat, Pumpkin, leaped on to the table, landing on the piece that Danny had wanted. Danny looked through his hands at the cat then at Cassia. He pulled his head out of his face and smirked at Cassia, "You can have the piece" He said, silently challenging her.
Cassia made a disgusted face, "Uh, no thanks, I'm good, you can have it."
All three of them laughed and then said their phrase, "I love you with all my heart, even though it's not much of a start, I want to play the part of your loving family." Danny broke into a fit of giggles making Cassia laugh at him, while the mom looked on with a smile touching her love-filled eyes.
Present
The noise around her went from silent to beeping here and nurses saying orders there. Cassia felt like she was just shoved into the Arctic Ocean, she was shaking uncontrollably as sobs racked her body. She screamed for her mom at the top of her lungs, but everything was becoming blurry and her tongue felt like lead. Cassia looked over and saw that Ms. April had a syringe in her hand and her face was distraught.
Three Weeks Later
Cassia was in her room, packing her clothes as tears streamed down her face, silently. When she finished, she called for her brother, Daniel. "Danny, I love you with all my heart, and as soon as I turn 18, I'm coming to find you. Okay? I promise." Cassia was only 16 and when she would turn 18, Daniel would be 9. Daniel clung to her as she tried to push him away, her sleeve going up her forearm, revealing the scars there. Cassia finally got Daniel off of her and she got into the navy blue car in front of the red one, the one Danny was supposed to get into. Cassia felt heat trail down her face as she heard her brother scream for her, she looked out the window of the car and saw her brother being restrained by two social workers. She was about to get out of the car and go to him, but the doors had locked and the car pulled away from the curb.
Two Years Later
"We are gathered here today, in loving memory of Ms. Cassia Marie Andrews, if anyone would like to say a few words, now would be the time."
Nine year old Daniel Hunter Andrews stood up, and went to the podium standing right under a willow tree. "Um I loved my sister with all my heart, it was a thing we said to each other all the time," he laughed a little and wiped a tear from his face. "She is I mean wa-was the best sister in the world, and never broke a promise before--" His voice broke and he choked on his next few words before he ran off. His guardians quickly followed behind him, while Stacy, Cassia's friend from the group home they were both in, went up to the podium. "I know Cass was depressed and wanted her family back together But I never would've thought that she would do this to herself and just leave her brother behind like this I just, I loved her so much, I thought we had connected Sure I saw all the scars and noticed the bags under her eyes, but I never thought I dont think anyone thinks that someone would do this to themselves" Stacy smiled, sadly, at the portrait of Cassia. "May Cassia Andrews forever live in our hearts."

That's much better! But at the same time much worse. It's much sadder...which makes it worse for the reader! DX

Wow, but that's a big improvement! Can't wait to read your other stories! :)

Well Littletoes did say the sadder the better xD
but thank you very much ^-^

Oh, I know. It's a good that it makes the reader feel sad.