Yes, I love pings

So I can dump stuff here...it's a lot to put out in the open, but that's what this is for, right? >.>

Right, so, I get panic attacks. It's weird, but I'd never really gotten them before until recently (except around needles, but that's another story) like just in the past year or so. But now, I've had a couple that happened even when nothing was really making me anxious. And they were bad, too; I was scared the first time because I wasn't sure what was going on. I was shaking and feeling like I couldn't breathe. Second time, at least I knew what was happening, but wow do they wear you out!

I've gotten one in a social setting too, which was...not helpful. I have a really hard time interacting with people as it is. I haven't made a new friend in years....

And I tried medication once, and I simply could not stand it. I was taking the smallest dose I could, but it made me feel like I'd drunk a triple espresso. XD I couldn't sit still all day, couldn't get anything done, an was extra jittery and jumpy. What I really didn't like though, was how I felt the morning after: I woke up totally exhausted and drained. And so I thought, "This can't be good for me", and I stopped taking it. I know a lot of people online were saying it gets better if you stick with it, but I just wasn't sure it was worth it.

Anyway, just dumping some of my problems somewhere. XD I have more.

Ya know when ever you really trust someone and they are literally your first friend and you've been friends for years and ya you drift off somewhat and thats normal but you still hang out and stuff and then they pretty much say that they use you for your emotional reaction but you know your still attached to that person and your not quite sure what to do besides shut down and try to kill your emotions but next thing your know your crying and its just 'shoot what did I do that made this happen' and you try to find some logical reason but it isn't logical and you just want too end it but you can't because you promised them you wouldn't but then there word shouldn't count for much but it does because you really love and trust this person and all they can do is break your heart because they got a boyfriend and decided that was more important then your friendship even though you have been friends for years longer then they have been dating and you know you should just drop them and you can't and all you can do is cry and wish it was back too the way it was before everything

May I join?

Yerp ^^

May have join? I am fighting against depression and social anxiety (which I have due to bad experiences in my life. I think it's not really noticeable I have social anxiety on the internet, but in my life it had give me a lot of problems and it has lead to awkwards situations).


I just want to add, since I've read posts and I've seen that some people don't want to undertake therapy, that i have started to undertake one even if I was reluctant to when I was in a very bad depressive state which was interfering with my work, and it really helped me. So due to my personal experience, I would suggest everyone who is in this case to at least try to go speak to a professional. You don't necessarily have to take medications, but having someone you can speak to without being judged can help. (Of course you have to find someone who is good and competent, not all therapists are unfortunately).

And I think that creating this group is a good idea, because an other thing which has helped me to fight social anxiety is internet. It can seems weird, but on the internet I can speak with people I will probably never meet, and so I'm not always wondering if they find me crazy, or if they like me or not. I am questionning myself way too much in "real life", which often makes me appear more awkward that I really am, or shy and introvert. It has gotten better since I've become more used to discuss with people and to share my interests with them!

Of course you can join! And ye i get you completely. I was talking to a therapist for a while but ran out of money :// i more likely to tell ppl on the internet things about me then IRL because less judgement and if you don't want to talk you can just block them and there gone.

That's quite bad you had to stop going to see your therapist :(, in my country if you need to see a therapist it's payed in the greater part by social security and health insurances (at least in my case, since I'm a student and I have been officially diagnosed with depression).
And yes, online you don't have to fear the judgement of people! That's why it's easier to speak! But I've also found out that the more I've spoken online, the easiest it has become to me to speak to people even IRL.

I hope that it will get better between you and your friend. Anxiety and depression leads to a lack of confidence and self-depreciation, so your friend may uses you less than you think, and don't even realize they are hurting you. It's difficult for people who don't have social anxiety to understand what it's really like, and that it gives the fear of being used and being abandonned. I have overreacted and cried for situations like this in the past, only to realize after when it was too late that my friends cared about me but didn't know that they've hurted me.
Maybe if you can find the courage in yourself you should speak with them about the way you fell(without telling them about the real cause of your fear and your anxiety if you don't trust them enough), and maybe they will have a unexpected reaction and show you that you count for them! (and if they don't, it means it's not a good friend).

Ahh ye and she is a good friend its just she also has some issues (Lack of empathy) so idk man it just really worries me. That and other ~Issues~ with people keep trying to force themselves onto me its kinda screwed up and i've needed somewhere to rant about it but not IRl because then people would judge me

I understand that it's worrying. But if she's a good friend you should try to speak to her. Maybe things will get better. But yes, people who likes of empathy are definitely not the easiest to be speak to when what you need IS empathy and support, or at least understanding :/
Well, I hope it will get better!

What do you mean, people forcing themselves onto you? As friend or romantically? That's sounds quite bad.

If you want to rant, you can always talk to me :), I won't judge you, If you knew how many times I've needed to rant in the past!!!