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Grapejuice
Level 71
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 1/8/2016
Threads: 155
Posts: 22,907
Posted: 5/12/2018 at 12:41 AM
Post #71
I'm sorry to say that I no longer need judges. I meant to take the ad down but crappy internet stopped me -.- Again i'm really sorry but thank you for offering
IvyCat
Level 62
Trickster
Joined: 8/23/2016
Threads: 106
Posts: 23,715
Posted: 5/12/2018 at 2:23 AM
Post #72
Thank you x3 Commas are definitely something I struggle with also the fact I combine sentences as I think too far ahead I may be looking into getting grammarly, would that be cheating?
Grapejuice
Level 71
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 1/8/2016
Threads: 155
Posts: 22,907
Posted: 5/12/2018 at 12:50 PM
Post #73
no, I'm okay with grammarly.
Grapejuice
Level 71
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 1/8/2016
Threads: 155
Posts: 22,907
Posted: 5/12/2018 at 10:23 PM
Post #74
story 1
It's good and is very well thought out. However I suggest that when it comes to something being changed quickly and largely (Like the numbers of her army) instead of saying it dropped drastically give a number. Number's make it more grounded and make things seem more real. "but blended with the blood red fur that contrasted with her black fur." sentences like this sounds s bit weird. I suggest you read through and make sure that your sentences said out loud sound good. Apart from that really good ^^
Story 2
I can't find much wrong with this one. Good job
Edited By Grapejuice on 5/12/2018 at 10:30 PM.
Limor
Level 72
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 7/5/2016
Threads: 293
Posts: 19,132
Posted: 5/12/2018 at 11:49 PM
Post #75
Username:
Livinginmyownreality
ID:
63884
Write a short story (no more than 5 paragraphs) about This character:
Sending you soon
What is the writing genre you have the most difficulty writing:
Poetry
Write a short story (No more than 3 paragraphs) based off of the sentence "At the end of the world, the only thing we dare hope for is death":
Sending soon
What is your favourite genre:
Sci-fi Horror
Limor
Level 72
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 7/5/2016
Threads: 293
Posts: 19,132
Posted: 5/13/2018 at 9:38 PM
Post #76
Can I get some feedback?
Grapejuice
Level 71
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 1/8/2016
Threads: 155
Posts: 22,907
Posted: 5/13/2018 at 11:13 PM
Post #77
of course!
Story 1
try to avoid using the same word in succession like here "They let out a quiet call, echoing through the night as a quiet warning call. Danger was near. The quiet was...." You used quiet three times and it makes it seem boring. don't forget to re-read and make sure all spelling is correct unless that's a theme of the story. But in this case, I don't think it is. Otherwise everything seems fine, oh and don;t be afraid to use commas ;) they are your friends.
Story 2
same note as last time on the wording. You seem to really love quiet xD
Limor
Level 72
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 7/5/2016
Threads: 293
Posts: 19,132
Posted: 5/14/2018 at 8:56 AM
Post #78
Omgosh did IPhone do the weird deleting comma thing it does sometime? And yeah I do have a habit of repeating words like that without realizing it ahHh
Grapejuice
Level 71
The Kind-Hearted
Joined: 1/8/2016
Threads: 155
Posts: 22,907
Posted: 5/15/2018 at 7:25 PM
Post #79
that is it! Sign-ups are officially closed, no more editing or updating no more entries. For those who have entered you will find out your results next week on Tuesday.
Shardial
Level 70
The Perfectionist
Joined: 2/12/2017
Threads: 62
Posts: 1,991
Posted: 5/15/2018 at 7:31 PM
Post #80
I thought they ended at 12?
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