My mouse double clicked and closed my chrome right after I finished replying to you all
I am not feeling up to re-writing all of it rn so gonna just leave this here and just gonna
Pretend I never spent hours writing this and gonna go eat finally, that's a upside

I'll get around to replying tomorrow ^^;

@99echosong99

That's fine, take all the time you need :)

I'm also having problems too. My Chrome crashed twice whilst trying to respond to you. I just about managed to copy and paste my response before I lost it all 0-0

Okay gonna try this again

@PureBloodBlackRose,
Dystopian and horror is very interesting to read, I haven't tried writing it myself personally though ^^;
It's really cool that you like writing for those categories :)

2nd person looks hard, I wish you the best of luck writing in that POV ^^

@ToyaKazaki,
By them becoming the true villain of the story it's like a torch is being passed over, from the character that the reader may suspect will be the main problem to him once he kills them off
He does hurt people beforehand though and continues to, pirates mainly though because he though being lied to about it being the pirates fault that his brother was killed has grown a sort of racism towards them
He doesn't see any reason to return home and still feels this need to finish hunting down this apparent demon who even though apparently wasn't the one who killed his brother he still wants to see this through to the end since he's already spent so long searching

Their younger brother is the protagonist who is actually alive but as far as his older brother knows he is dead since right after the fire and all that his body was never found

@AtomicBomb354,
_{That's good :)}

It reads as if the reader is reading someone's diary/written in a way that is expecting the reader to need a lot of explanation to understand(and expecting someone to read the diary)

Writing fanfiction for your own characters is fun :)

I think the problem is that I am writing more details that I usually would since it's 1st person
I don't want to hold the readers hand but I'm not sure if 1st person would want more detail or not(you say not so I think that's where I went wrong)
Also it just feels a lot more emptier than usual, Zach really doesn't have much on his mind right now and is kindove in a state of shock so I've been writing Black's POV till this moment where I need to introduce Zach as a 1st person POV, at this point in the writing I want to introduce the fact that he's not mentally well but I think I'm going into too much description tbh ^^;
I want to hint at of the exact things that happened too when he was attacked that haven't been written or explained yet since when it happened I changed over to Black's POV so that the attacker isn't known

I don't think it helps anyone to pretend something doesn't exist ):
I almost got in trouble when my parents thought I tricked them into getting me Minecraft instead of Mindcraft which they thought was gonna be a learning game when I was younger when they miss-heard what I said X)

Did anyone spend a fair amount of time warning you about balloons?

I was avoiding it because I'd already watched the animated version and was done watching that for the time X)
(I think they are related at least, maybe not)

Mine me asking what it's called?

I want to put a picture here but can't find it actually X)
It'll find me though eventually, it always does

Nah their name is Element Animation I just meant there was no s at the end of element ^^;

Brostep?

I found the OST for pokemon dungeon recently, it sounds pretty nice, something I never noticed while raging playing the game/or busy crying X)

Great genre ^^
One of few to play on repeat while playing LoL X)

I feel you on that, usually don't like all of an artist's songs but they sometimes got those special few

If you find you have trouble with anatomy and poses I recommend trying out references photos :)
It's a nice way to figure out anatomy and placement at the same time ^^
Oh no XD
Yeah that's my fault I intentionally went without mentioning his species because I didn't want that to become a label for my character by the off chance it ruined them for you ^^;
In my creative writing class I believe the species of my characters off-set some of the people listening and they couldn't take it as serious?
His species is actually called Sentients(even in the writing that is how I refer to them), they are chimeras that were created by humans a long time ago but the humans went extinct when they first started experimenting and they evolved on their own(something I did NOT add into the writing but might hint at in the game)
Black is also part of the experiments, a different one but born around the time of the human extinction(he does not remember a lot from his birth but he does know what humans look like, but there is never a point in bringing them up) I've never actually described him physically either, something I'm really enjoying X)
Zach actually originally only didn't have any limbs because I could not draw limbs at the time X)
Originally Zach was older too and was able to use magic but then Black became a thing and both of their stories change over and over until I finally thought of a story/idea that could work to really connect them :)

You should show me your other characters if you ever get to drawing them ^^

If you'd actually like to draw anyone go ahead, I'd love that :)

@99echosong99

It's not really the point of the story though, although she is mimicking the way that the show is narrated. From a diary standpoint, I suppose it is ok, but the main problems I have are a) The main characters fall in love way too quickly, and also get over the whole thing about 'she should be dead' too quickly as well, b) There's just too much, and too little depth, and c) Who on Earth writes about****** in their diary, and goes really descriptive about their love life? In the case of the******, surely that's something they'd want to forget? And as a character who was shamed a lot and has a false reputation for 'jumping between partners' (to put it lightly), it just seems wrong for them to include that kind of thing. Also, she tries to go all descriptive with the scenes between the main character and their love interest, so it's probably the fact that the style goes all over the place that makes it read so strangely. Maybe I'm just being a little harsh, I don't know.

Yeah, I think I wrote a Lord of the Flies-style story where I sent a bunch of my characters to one island and let them do whatever XD I never got very far into it, it started off comedic, and was meant to go dark, but I just didn't write that much of it. I suppose I need to start making a list of every story I need to finish ha ha.

Whether you include a lot detail or not in 1st person is often down to the pacing. If it's a slow, relaxing part of the story, where the character is exploring something, perhaps, then yes, because the reader has plenty of time to take it all in (as would the character). But in a more action-packed scene, you might give the same place less, with focus on maybe one or two things with a short sentence or two, since the character shouldn't be focusing on what's around them rather than running/ trying to survive etc. If maybe you think about the number of things you often look at in fast-paced scenarios versus calming ones, then maybe that might give you an idea of how much you might want to add?

Again, it depends on the pacing as to how much detail you go into. If he's still in shock when you introduce him, then yeah, plenty of description should be fine :) And if he's not mentally well, then maybe it should be implied through action - maybe a normal action such as, I don't know, walking, and then applying a specific word to imply that something is wrong?

Ok, maybe you should describe something about Zach's appearance at the time? Like, maybe he is tense, or he has a bruise/ specific type of wound that the reader can imply is from a certain weapon? Then have the attacker wield said weapon later in the story, so that it can be implied that it's him? For example, if Zach has long, thin cuts/ marks all over his body, then the reader can assume that it was a whip?

Yeah, definitely. It's a pain, especially when you are fully aware of what they are talking about. I suppose it's to 'preserve our innocence', but I don't see the point, we're all going to hear it at some point anyway lol.

Ha ha, I wish I could have somehow done that for some of the games I want. But I don't have my own Steam account, for some reason my parents insisted that I used my dad's one... so I can't get away with that now lol.

Nah, I was never warned or anything. Maybe I just grew to hate the sound of them popping or something? I do get equally as nervous when people are playing football, since I really don't like being hit in the head with stuff, so maybe I'm just really head-shy and since balloons can float, then they get too close to my face? _{Or maybe I just have a fear of round objects or something XD}

I haven't actually seen the animated version, YouTube keeps recommending it to me (amongst clickbait unboxing fidget spinner videos or whatever, I don't know why they keep showing up 0-0). It's probably a lot better in written form though, the description makes it a whole lot better, and also YouTube would probably not allow half the scenes ha ha.

It's A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin :) (Basically, Game of Thrones)

I eventually gave up with the whole making the video short enough to be uploaded lol, so here, have a picture instead:



Oh ok, I thought you said they changed their name to just Element XD

Basically this. It's what people usually think of when they think of dubstep, despite not actually being dubstep :) (I don't really like it that much, but yeah, if I'm annoyed enough, then maybe)

I don't usually listen to sound tracks from games, despite loving the one from Skyrim lol. I don't know, Drum and Bass just usually doesn't show up ha ha.

I don't tend to listen to music while playing games, but yeah, it's definitely good for writing. I always listen to stuff that goes completely against the mood of my stories though, like upbeat drum and bass while writing a tragic death scene XD

Yeah. A good example for me personally is Rob Gasser. Good drum and bass, but then the rest of his songs are like "What is this?" lol.

I should do that more often to be honest XD I think about two months ago I tried it for the first time, and my style completely switched overnight lol. The way I draw hands has just improved anyway (still not very good though), but yeah, definitely need to study them too.

0-0 Oml Tyrus is so awesome... I imagined him to be like Barbossa from Pirates of the Caribbean for some reason, and now I can't stop laughing because I was so badly wrong XD If I draw him, I should totally draw him dressed as Barbossa ha ha.

Nah, I can generally still take things seriously regardless of what the character looks like... unless it's really absurd, but it isn't. :)

Sounds well-thought out and interesting - I like it! :D What was the purpose of the experimenting on the Sentients though? Did the humans want something out of it, e.g new materials to cure diseases? Also, why is Black a demon, rather than normal? Did they not perfect the process of creating them, or was it intentional _{(which would be really shady lol)}? And I know it probably isn't important, but why did the humans go extinct?

I used to do something similar ha ha. I used to have a bunch of characters who had arms missing because I hated drawing hands XD Sometimes legs too, it depended.

Sounds good! :) Sometimes I find that drawing characters and writing about them at the same time makes it much easier to connect things, for example, taking ideas from drawings and placing them in written form, and vice versa.

Well, I'm currently in the process of drawing 5 of them because I'm doing the switch around meme with two other artists on Instagram :) So yeah, I can post a few of them here if you'd like.

I don't know when I'll be able to start them though, I still have something I have to finish for someone on here, and then I also have a commission (but I know the person who commissioned me, they should be fine if it takes me a while lol). But yeah, I will definitely have a got at at least drawing Zach (probably Tyrus too, after what I said earlier XD - though to be honest, I can't really see the difference between Black and Zach? Are they meant to look exactly the same, since Black is in Zach's body, but Black is more violent or something?)

--

@PureBloodBlackRose

Sorry I didn't reply immediately, I read your post late at night, then obviously it got rid of the ping so I forgot until I saw it today ;-;

Definitely! :)

Both of them sound really interesting! Mind telling me about both of them? I don't really have any questions in particular at this stage, since I don't really know much about the stories lol.

*looks over at book shelf, and the unread Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Books* Yeah, I have a few things that I still need to read, but I would be happy to hear some suggestions for me to keep in mind until I have time to read them :)

Yeah. Now that I think about it, there is one book in the Noughts and Crosses books (I think it's the second one) by Malorie Blackman, and I think at least one of the chapters in that is the perspective of one character talking to their child, with the readers basically being from the perspective of the child listening to their mother talking about them - it's a good use of second person because it shows the bond between the two :) Unfortunately, I don't think they use it elsewhere at all, but yeah, it's a fantastic example of it.

Okay, sorry if my descriptions suck ;w;

Tamed-
A girl is fighting to make her father proud. She is sick of the fate layed out for her- go to school, do chores, get married and live her life as a personal maid. She doesn't want that- she wants adventure and drama and action- something to make her feel alive. But sometimes going the extra mile is going too far.


Unnamed Horror-
(i haven't written a description for this story yet and i don't feel like winging it, so I'll try to write one sometime today)

I'm no author yet, but everyone that has read Tamed has liked it, soo I'm hoping I could publish it in the future

As for book reccomendations, I reccomend just about anything by David Baldacci or James Patterson. Some of my personal favorites are Maximum Ride or Confessions by Patterson, excellent actions and mysteries.

@PureBloodBlackRose

Nah, they're fine :)

Do you mind questions that might spoil it, or would you rather avoid them? I'm interested, because I would like to know a little more about what 'going too far is' and some of the events that happen.

That's good! :) I would say go ahead, with the best route (from what I've heard from people who have published books) being self-publishing, though ultimately it depends on what you want to do. I'd just be careful of any sneaky ToS things.

Alright, I'll check them out if I have time :)

Speaking of bad descriptions (full of spoilers too because I like talking about plots and stuff), I suppose I should say something about what I'm writing as well, so here goes:

Both the titles are temporary because I can't thing of anything good at the moment ha ha.

District Omega (dystopia, somewhat sci-fi/ fantasy blend):

The story follows a young doctor called Kazuo Ikeda. He's from a generally poor background, after almost going homeless several times to afford to go to university. One day, he is offered what appears to be a promotion, however the details of his new job are very vague. However, he does not mind this, as all he wants is to impress his parents since he feels that they disapprove of him (they practically disowned him, but he still sends them money every now and then etc). On his first day of the new job, things go... a little wrong, resulting in the death of the other doctor he was supposed to be working with. But since this is a secret project, they can't just record this death as being caused by one of the creatures they have created, so they frame Kazuo for murder.

Then he gets thrown in this large area they call District Omega, essentially a prison for the worst of the worst. Although it's usually used for re-offenders, they put him in there anyway, as they don't want him to spread the information. And so the whole story is about him escaping this place, and then getting justice for what happens to him (I won't spoil the outcome of this one).

Prince Treyror (romance, fantasy, and I suppose maybe even a hint of sci-fi at times):

This is the story I've been talking to Echosong about.

The last remaining heir to the elven throne, Aeraxus Treyror, is essentially being forced to marry by the king, since the king is concerned that, due to the current state of the world, he may die soon. However, he has promised that he will find someone, and that the king doesn't need to force him into a relationship with another highborn. He already has one option, a childhood friend of his called Ereyse, however she is a maid at the castle, and, along with Aeraxus' insecurities at changing their relationship to a romantic one, the king would most likely not approve of it.

One day, Aeraxus is sent out on a patrol of the border, to make sure that no humans are trying to get in to raid the village. He stumbles upon a small party of them, and is unexpectedly defeated. Two humans, Xurai and Fayra, take him hostage, and... something happens. I really haven't gotten any further, but eventually he falls for the human (again, a relationship that would definitely be disapproved of, considering that many elves are against interaction with humans, and some would even kill them).

I've missed out a lot of details from both of them lol, but that's a basic outline.

I don't mind answering spoiler-ish questions at all, no!

Those stories sound very interesting, I'd definately read them if I saw it in a library or book store!

Prince Treyror-
It reminds me of the series called Trylle by Amanda Hockings, I'd reccomend that book series also! :) Also, it sounds like a very interesting take on elves, considering most would think of the little creatures that help Santa out, lol. But this makes them seem like.. a hybrid, of some sort, or at least more human and 'normal'.

District Omega-
Definately something I could get into. I like the idea of a prison like solitary confinement for an innocent man, it's fascinating in a.. cruel, twisted way I suppose, but fascinating nonetheless. It sounds like an actual story plot, and it's not like any Dystopians I've read :)

@PureBloodBlackRose

Alright then! So I suppose, could you tell me some more about the main characters and what happens to them? So, a bit about the stalker, maybe? Or what about what happens to the character in Tamed?

Thank you! :) District Omega is the longer of the two so far, and I've been working on it for about 4 years. Now that I don't have to go to school, and I have all this time, I've been meaning to go through and edit it so that I can continue writing.

Oh, ok, maybe that might be another book to take a note of then.

The elves are a little more different than what I described them (I did leave out a lot of details). Physically speaking, they are genderless, with some having more feminine or more masculine body types. The concept of gender does exist, but it is purely used as a preference for being referenced as either a male or female (or neither). I haven't really thought much about their customs, but I do know that they speak the same language as the humans (I haven't explored why yet, but I've figured that they will have some sort of a link to humans because of the whole gender thing, as it's too coincidental that they would identify using the same genders as humans).

Ah, it's not quite like that. Rather, it's a large section of what used to be a town/ city/ something (still haven't decided what it was yet, it's really not important to the story at this moment in time) sectioned off. The thing is, there would be an outcry if the government started massacring criminals, so essentially, when they place them in this area, they are no longer technically responsible for that person. So they leave people to kill each other off, because they can then say that it wasn't their fault and that they have no control over it. There are no set sentences, so the only way is to get out through two different gates that serve as entrances, however the likelihood of that happening is very slim, because the guards at those walls are often armed with firearms, and since when they do kill it is within the walls, nobody can call the government out for that. Obviously, some people aren't interested in taking the risk and escaping, and so they set up their own communities within this 'prison', and one of the characters that Kazuo meets happens to have been born in one of them, and hence is reluctant to leave because she has no idea about the rest of the world.

Beyond the 'prison', there is a smaller building where they take those who escape, which essentially serves as a centre to help those get back into society. The logic behind this is that if you are prepared to go through hell to get out, then you have demonstrated that you are willing to repent what you did and rejoin the rest of humanity. Arguably though, it could be implied that the government are using this in a 'survival of the fittest' scenario, but that's up to the imagination :) They then take several tests during their time in the centre, and if they fail, they are sent back. If they succeed, however, they are taken back to society, and their criminal record is wiped.

Normal offenders though, like people who maybe stole a few hundred pounds worth of stuff, or did something minor, will just go to an ordinary prison and serve their sentence though.

Thank you :)

Okay, sounds a lot better in your version than the one I made up in my head xD


For the horror, the stalker I think should be potrayed as someone lonely- someone who has been in prison for a very long time or perhaps someone who has been abandoned or forgotten. Then, they find this person who is seemingly perfect in their eyes- and they want to be loved by that person. They're psychaotic and insane, so they think that doing.. rather extreme things would make the girl love them. I haven't decided the gender yet or really any personality traits, I've just planned out the initial storyline. The girl I think should be the classic loner, which is why the stalker would feel a connection- they're both alone. I think she should have an online job or something of the sorts and not have to go out much, which makes the amount of friends or love interests she has minimal.