@AtomibBomb354,
_{Nice!
Sorry if I missed anything here/anything is confusing I feel like I'm being stabbed ;v;}

The demon(whose name is Black) is known among pirates as a story passed around, that you can make a deal with them and he'll grant any wish you want
Whoever Black possesses though tends to has a shorter life-span(since he is constantly consuming from it), and he isn't that known by anyone outside of the pirate community(which for the most part themselves think he is a myth)
The starting place the protagonist(whose name is Zach) is from has no magic so the only ones who believe in that kind of stuff are the pirates
It's really more their companion(whose name is Tyrus) who once was the host to Black who's got an unjustly bad rep. rather than Black
Black became targeted by the brother(his name is Zayn) because looking farther into the lore of the "evil captain"(Tyrus) the stories slowly turned from being about the captain(who never had the same physical looks in the stories) to the demon(Black), as the stories went farther and farther back and the only consistency between the stories became the demon's presence in all of them, Zayn decided that it was the demon they were to look for
_{Ah yes, how do I make your life living hell before I kill you..}

That's a cool sounding class :o _{My school has more classes for farming and such instead ):}
It's nice to try on making things accurate as possible

The schizophrenia, yeah more of a general spread. Zach is unconscious when they enter the mind space, either asleep or knocked out(by Black to stop him from doing something he'll regret or in the middle of a panic attack and ignoring Black's attempts to calm him down externally, though it's more of a push and Zach has to allow Black to let him be knocked out//player choice in game vs Zach's conscious allows it in writing)

I'm glad you think so :)

The current ruler of the kingdom is still their father(who I need to work more on tbh as he'll probably be more significant to the antagonist POV)

Yeah, I'm working on figuring out their battle system still, I think Zach would have more health than Black while Black would have more damage(need to figure out how to make it so that Black isn't immediately seen as the preferable fighting option though tbh)
I think there would be downsides to letting people know about Black's existence probably(in the case of any fights where the enemy somehow lives)
(in the new world magic is more common so it's easier to play off Zach's "abilities")
Good good ending_{(moon moon stop)} would be going out of your way to help everyone yeah, but not helping others won't necessarily make you evil
The good good ending and the bad bad endings are planned to be longer and possibly require replaying the game to get(getting different options in the ending//might not make need to replay but I dunno yet)

With the good path, having bad options constantly there sounds interesting, mind me putting that to the side for possible use? ^^;
The more bad options you chose just means you'll get more bad options, and some good options permanently gone if you go too far down the bad path and vise-versa
This might change but I want to make it significant that your actions are irreversible and choices important
The personality charts for the characters(Zach and Black) are dependent on your decisions, while Zach is a blank canvas for you to influence to your own personality and choices, Black has a starting personality that is influenced by what his companion Zach does
He is already protective of Zach but if he uses force or words to try to keep you safe depends

Have fun figuring out the characters and finding the ending :)
(I thought you were gonna have his parents hang him oh god(and my brain decided to make that thought better by saying "with the human spying in on what's happening and why they haven't seen their love yet and witness their death!"))
_{I thought of a happy(ish) ending out of it where they "exile" their son away(they really do exile him, but more as a way to let him be happy because they care about how he feels so after saying goodbyes because they know they won't ever be in agreement to their views they send him off, I dunno)}

@Yuya,
Those are interesting things to like writing, same to things of not liking to write as usually people seem to like fantasy/sci-fi and seriousness ^^
Accuracy is a great thing to go for! :D

@ToyaKazuki,
_{I'm sorry I'm going to shorten this down a bit(and it might be confusing to read as I probably wont proof read this too much before replying) by the time I got to this point in writing this I am feeling very sick now}
Indeed! I spend a month wondering if I should make this thread x)
Nice! Those sound like good reasons to write ^^
To be honest I'm a bit relieved so many of you also don't really go for romance ^^;
Man, world building is hard(for me at least, like 3 original plants and a few new animals later and I'm lost with the logic)
So best of luck creating your world and the histories of it and such, it sounds like a lot of hard work but something worth achieving for :)
Whatchu writing if you don't mind my asking?(is it just practice with a whole original world?)
I have trouble with first person because for some reason it reminds me that someone wrote the story and when I write it in first I feel awkward saying "I", I don't know why I'm so bothered by it tbh ^^;

@99echosong99

Ouch.

Right, so, before I respond to everything:

Aeraxus (pronounced as 'Aerazus') - The main male character, the elf prince who falls for the human.

Ereyse - Aeraxus' friend, the female elf, a maid at the castle.

Tarro - the king, one of Aeraxus' fathers, the one who is not violent towards humans.

Ervyik - the king's consort, Aeraxus' second father, generally nicer than Tarro, but more violent towards humans. I'm considering making him secretly crazy or something, hence the such extreme difference in views (since he's mostly nice, but for some reason has such a terrible bias against humans).

Fayra - the human who becomes friends with Aeraxus.

Xurai - Fayra's companion (not really that important, I'm just adding him here because I might mention him at some point).

There will probably be a few others, but mostly side characters, though probably as the story develops they may become important. I am considering adding a character who I recently got, a mischievous spirit who takes on the form of a... fox? I think that's what it mostly looks like lol. But I need to work out when and where he will turn up, and what his purpose will be. I have an idea that perhaps he could provide a solution to the fact that Aeraxus and Fayra are anatomically different and so cannot have children, but idk if that would make him too much of a convenience. Also, that fact probably still wouldn't convince Ervyik to let a human within the walls - maybe Tarro, though.

Ok, that makes sense. What does Black want to achieve, however? Apart from the fact that he needs a host to survive? Does he just want to protect people? I feel like I've asked this already lol, if I have then feel free to ignore this. I tend to forget everything I say to people ha ha. And why did Tyrus get a bad reputation from Black?

Yeah, it's going to be great from what I've seen so far. But it's going to take me an hour to get there, and then another hour to get back every day, but still... it's going to be worth it.

Ok. Wouldn't that cause a few problems if Zach is forced to pass out during an important time? Or is that something that's going to be explored later?

Alright. I thought they didn't really have parents until now lol, since you didn't mention them and it didn't seem like they did, hence why I got a bit confused.

Maybe Black isn't as agile, or his moves are slower than Zach's? If he has less health, taking away some of his agility too would probably make him somewhat more difficult to fight using, which would probably discourage some (or maybe make him so different to Zach that most would rather stick with Zach than have to switch to a strange setup part way through the battle?).

How would that work with the multiple playthroughs for one ending? To me, it doesn't sound like it would fit much along with the theme of the story, but still, I suppose it could still work. Would you have to do specific things each way through (not necessarily doing the good route twice, but doing a partially good route and a fully good one or something like that? Or would you have to collect certain items?)?

Yeah, sure, go ahead. And yeah, it does make sense to block off the good if you do too many bad options. And leaving Zach as a blank slate is definitely a good idea, it means that he starts quite neutral and the player doesn't feel like they have to follow the game 'in-character' :)

It wouldn't make sense for them to hang him, and I suppose in a sense it wouldn't for them to exile him either. Since he is the last heir to the throne, and there won't be others (for reasons that involve delving into the anatomy of the elves and other stuff, and I can't be bothered to explain it all at the moment lol), so then sending him away would almost completely guarantee that the royal line wouldn't continue. Though... Actually, if I wanted to continue this a little longer, perhaps if I make Ervyik secretly evil... perhaps Ervyik has had an illegitimate child, whom he wants to escalate to being king, and hence he wants exile/ hang Aeraxus for that purpose? Idk, my brain isn't working at the moment lol, and I'm still not sure if I really want him to be evil.

(Sorry if it's a little short, it's really hot in here and I can't think straight/ I'm distracted by about a thousand things at once. It took me about three hours to type this ha ha)

_{Oh no my brain!}

Yeah!
_{Someone tried to do something romantic with me once to ask me out, using a movie cliche kind of thing and it was so awkward ;v;
Then another person was trying to be cute with me but I don't trust people easily so they were just trying to pull me back into their arms but it just turned into them dragging me around backwards as I tried to not fall backwards even as they said to just fall into them..}

That's sounds pretty cool! Good luck with creating all of it and writing it :)
[combining my responses to what your story is and how you have visions for more]

I actually really like how you view it that way :)
I think for the most part it's when "I" is used around a cliche in the writing that it bothers me
Or I've just gotten so into the writing and then it just feels unsettling to take a step back from the world and character you're introduced to and really think about how they actually aren't real, but at the same time as realizing that someone creating it all is what really made me personally want to start writing myself
The psychological view of it is really interesting too ^^

_{Nice avatar btw :)}

@AtomicBomb354,
Ay characters :D_{All these original sounding names, then you look at mine XD}

Black doesn't have much a goal to begin with, he just has a instinct to stay alive but after gaining the trust of Zach whilst trying to reach a point to where he can ask for their permission to be possessed he grows attached as for the first time in awhile he feels genuinely interested in another person(he doesn't feel a need to go out of his way to protect others, and in-game this makes it so that is it totally your own choice as Black is indifferent about those kind of decisions)
Tyrus has a bad reputation because pirates themselves are already seen as bad, but while also possessed just being in the presence of a demon sounds bad and since demons were a new thing centuries ago, little stories got spread about this child who was possessed by a demon and they just slowly evolved and stories kept getting re-told differently each time and as he lived through all the centuries the stories kept getting told of people encountering him, and for the most part he if fully willing to be seen this way and doesn't defend against it(and he doesn't have the best temper, and even if he is kind to children he is a lot harsher to adults)

Oh wow that far? Well I'm glad you got in it and seem to like it so far :)

What would be considered an important time to not pass out? All the time is a good time ;D
I don't think if there was danger around then he would knock him out as that could endanger him, causing any bad mental results of not being able to be calmed down to be a downside I'd imagine
(in game your vision changes(EX: red flowers to blood) and sounds get distorted the worse it gets-leading into one at specific times//not random occurrence or timed out)
It's only written a bit past the tutorial X) So I've just got notes written down of things to add and have happen, they haven't been polished out yet though and I haven't had to reach a point where I had to write his attacks at any bad spots yet though if I start writing more scenarios in the bad route then these happening at bad times is probable

You're good, I haven't even named their parents in the writing either, I've read all I have written of it to a whole class of people and I bet they probably don't think there are parents either X)

That sounds like a good alternate for their forms of battling ^^

I'm wondering if I should made Black able to break the fourth wall, that's the only reason that those are possibilities atm(in the writing this couldn't really be a thing but as a game I always really liked the characters that just knew that something was OFF different)
(the good ending ends in your death originally, the writing started living past that point though(good good) so it's becoming additions/plans for either a second novel or to be scrapped as it's living way past what it was supposed to be and getting more depressing as there are things worse than death and I thought of the scenario where Black fully forces, actually forces a change out and since he goes completely against Zach's wishes(something he is not supposed to do as an unsaid part of the deal thing) it injures the both of them badly, and causes them to be stuck, weakened, and unstable)
(but, there will be items and conversations spread across the world that hint towards the ending which I hadn't planned on actually changing the ending but just explaining it more but maybe)
(this was one problem I had planning out a game before writing it as a novel and then writing out the novel before finishing fleshing out plans for the game, game to novel adaptations are usually done horribly so I've been trying to make them different but tell the same story)

Oh dear, I didn't mean to add hanging him as an option it's just what went through my head when you mentioned having something bad happen X)
Oh no XD
By longer would that be the one story or would you consider a 2nd book as longer?
I like them as a happy family from what you've said tbh, but they are your characters to shape and create to the world
I think making him evil with a secret side family(?) might add too much to the side(unless that is something you want)
Btw did something personal happen to make them especially hate humans(Ervyik) or is it just the usually reason other elves don't like them?(or is it just their mentality/possibly crazy?)

_{I hope you start to feel better ^^
It takes you hours too?!}

@ToyaKazaki,
You're good, I understand that ^^

I love psychology :D

My current project is based off of a character who was originally supposed to die at the end
The have PTSD, by choice mutism, schizophrenia, and feel phantom limbs
They are forced out of their original world/home and onto a journey into the new world with a companion(who is a demon) whom is the only character they ever talk to now
The starting place has no magic whilst the new world introduces the protagonist to magic
(I think this was the answer to the question? Sorry if it's confusing I'm trying to shorten what could become a long summary as it's stupid long and not polished//complete yet//things are still changing within it)

_{I see ^^}

@99echosong99

Thanks. And nah, it's ok to have normal names. Ha ha, they're not as original as they seem lol. Most of them are just bashing the keyboard and seeing what happens (then obviously editing it to make it name-like). The exceptions are Ervyik (literally just the name Eric, fantasy-ified), and Mai... which literally just means May in German XD

So he starts off being basically cold-hearted, but Zach changes him somewhat? That's... I don't want to say cute, because of all the other horrible things that happen lol, but nice, I suppose? An interesting character arc, I reckon, and one that might be quite rewarding for the player to witness amongst all the dark stuff and death.

Yeah, that makes sense. I wonder if there is a work of fiction where pirates are considered good...? I need to find it 0-0 _{Or maybe even write it. But at this rate I shouldn't really be starting any new stories lol *stares at endless amounts of unfinished stories stored on laptop*} And I like the idea that you have acknowledged that stories change over time, I think that could be used very interestingly. Perhaps Black or Tyrus could say something about this?

It's probably going to leave me exhausted, but the train journey is 30 minutes, and to me that's 30 minutes that can be spent drawing or world-building lol. I've done one small session at the college, I have another on Wednesday, and I also went to one of the open evenings. So I kind of know what it's fully about, tbh all we did was mess around with assets in the Unreal Engine for about two hours lol. And thanks! :)

Please tell that to my brain ha ha. Last time I passed out I hit a metal bar across my radiator, then landed in the middle of a stack of books XD . Yeah, so it would be sensible and planned. Not just 'Hey, this building is burning down and you're freaking out! I think you should pass out and calm down." I don't know why I'm saying this, it's pretty obvious lol.

So like in Fran Bow, where the pills mess everything up? Sounds cool! :)

Understandable though. Tbh, if they don't matter, there's no real point in saying anything about them, but perhaps a mention might stop confusion in the meantime lol. And you read it to a class of people? Most of my stuff only gets read by a few of my friends. With the whole attempting romance thing... nah, I don't think I would give it to most of my friends without feeling kind of embarrassed because it's so different from what I usually write. I give them other stuff to read, so they associate my stories with over-the-top violence and gritty portrayals of life, not a cute couple lol.

I think Black sounds like the kind of character who would. Also, it makes sense for him to break the 4th wall, considering that he generally converses with Zach, who you are playing as. As for the whole depressing scene stuff, why not have it go darker? As long as there is the occasional scene that is somewhat lighter, it shouldn't be too emotionally tiring for the reader/ player :) . Though ultimately it depends if you feel like you want to push it that far - I know, from writing from the deepest, darkest, most awful places in my mind, it can be quite boring/ motivation-sapping when the characters are being constantly tortured. I think when I was 13/14 I wrote several stories that were about 4/5 pages long each, I think, and were literal non-stop gore. How on earth I managed to write that much, I have no idea. I think the point was for it to be a description dump purely for fun, but I never actually finished it because I stopped caring :/ I wonder if I should go back and write it, but with actual character development and plot...? Because I really miss writing about/ drawing the two main characters from that :(

Having things spread around as lore-based items is a good idea, and with the random conversations it's also interesting. So it's there for those who want to learn as much as they can, but not forced so that those who don't take the time to read them aren't subject to a boatload of exposition via speech during the main plotline.

Well, since you're both writing the novel and developing the game, it should be just a tiny bit easier (though both writing and devloping games is pretty diffcult), I'd imagine. Since you know the characters well enough to know what you can leave out/ add in to tweak it and make it unique. I've personally never read a video game to novel adaptation (I've heard of a few), since all the games that I regularly play are either way too lore-heavy to cater to every type of player (*cough cough* Skyrim... _{I have literally seen people debating the best kings from the past of Skyrim, purely based off of all the thousands of books lying around, and I'm sat there like "Who are these people that you speak of?"}), or just not really things you would put in a novel.

XD Oh well, it's added to the potential list of horrible things to do to characters now ha ha. As for the whole second book thing, I was thinking about it, but I'm not really certain, this did start off as a small project after all lol. Since I generally don't write more than 50 pages until the middle of the story (which would probably be 100-ish for a whole story), I'm not sure if splitting them is a good idea.

I think that's my problem. 'Happy family' versus 'Everybody becomes sad and dies'. I think for once though it might be nice to just leave them, since this was meant to be a little more light-hearted than what I usually write (though it's slowly devolving into something just as deep and dark as usual, but still).

I tend to put a lot on the side, but it quickly becomes the main focus if it's something that big. I'd have to wrap everything up with the main conflict beforehand if I was to do that though.

Funnily enough, it's not Ervyik who has had a bad encounter with humans. Tarro is actually the one who was stabbed multiple times by a human one time when he went on a border patrol. And oml, I just thought of something... what if Xurai was the guy who did that? More conflict! I love it! >:D Obviously, this made Ervyik paranoid, and he wasn't willing to let something like that happen again, whether that was to Tarro or Aeraxus (Aeraxus at the time was probably a young child, about 2 or 3), hence the sudden 'humans must be captured/ killed' thing.

Thanks! For some reason, about two hours ago, I felt a lot better. No idea why, I just became happy, or at least ok and somewhat motivated. My emotions have been so weird lately ha ha.

This one took me about an hour, including all the times that I needlessly swivelled on my chair so that I couldn't type, and also when I got up from my chair, walked to some part of my room, wondered why I just did that, then sat down again XD When I'm in a bad mood it tends to take me a lot longer, and besides, I was watching YouTube at the same time.

@AtomicBomb354,
I'm glad you think that X)
(I'm trying to create a connection between the two noticeable by the reader(mostly so that if I do kill one then it'll feel worse but still), and though there are a lot of sad themes in the story I'm trying to include happy moments between them at least ^^')

_{^{My head felt like it was going to explode, the fires heat is intense and burns. Sharp metal piercing skin, muscles tearing, blood flowing, the sounds of insanity are picking up. Eternity is facing me and I don't know how to face this! My fangs and emotions are bared.
Zach!
My eyes opened, tears drip down my cheeks as they unlatch from my eyes. I feel a bit dizzy with the sudden new perspective of being pressed against the ground.
Black is nose to nose against me and the fires heat has abruptly died down. I turn my head away from Blacks and look around. Grass tickles my cheeks, causing me to partially squint my eye to keep the vegetation out. The light reflecting off of the dew drops collected in the grass creates starbursts.
Where am I?
I feel Blacks tense body still pressed close to mine calm.
Were in a safe state of mind.
I watch some red smudges slowly cross my view from above the both of us.
Blood!
Blacks gaze turned now too.
Flowers.
My vision finally clears and everything becomes distinguishable.
Were in a field.. I whisper out.
The place is easy to recognize, but instead of the single tulip that had once stood here before the entire place had been overrun with the flower. Just as the first time I noticed again that the field looked as if to never end in every direction. Wind I could not feel gently tugged the flowers in flowing waves of red and green.}}


You should try writing that if that interests you ^^
Thanks ^^ And what kind of thing

Oh dear D:
Yeah, I think keeping paced to specific times rather than a timer sounds better ^^;

Fran Bow was a cool game, haven't seen that in a while ^^
Don't remember it too well story-wise, I just remember liking the top hat skeleton and the pink flying possibly fluffy fish thing(it's really been a while that description is probably off in every way)

I was lucky, at my school there was a english class called Creative Writing where you are assigned something to write that is due after about 2 or 3 weeks and then we had the option to read what we wrote out loud to the class and they could write you comments on scraps of paper :)
Man the faces they made when I told them the last happy chapter was titled "The end of a prologue" and they looked up like "wait that was all prologue?!" and then "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE CHILD!?"
Unfortunately we had to read it out loud so I stumbled a lot and all that bad junk because wow I hate being in front of people but damn it if I waste this opportunity to force these people to listen to my story and comment on it

Try going back to writing it if you miss them :)

Glad you think it's a good idea ^^

If it's not a lot of addition then just add onto one? If it looks like it might turn a lot longer than second?

I like that a lot more than what I was thinking! I really like how the distrust is due to someone loved being hurt rather than themself
<sub>Oh no X)

Tbh this post took way longer than it should because of a new Ori trailer and I've been watching it all day</sub>
Oh god everything turned into italic what did I do